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Snakes on a Plane!
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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in "Snakes on a Plane" fanfiction community's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
12:51 pm
Saturday, July 8th, 2006
10:52 pm
snakes On A Plane
okay, be honest. how many times have you watched this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihAoSwQqo44

grooooove snakes
Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
4:23 pm
My "Love" Fanfic
Starts off at the end of the movie. Samuel L. Jackson, who is taking a snake home as a souvinier, has been home for about a week after the snake on a plane incident. He is exhausted, and just sleeping. The snake, who Sam Jackson named "Janet" slithers out of her cage. The snake, gaining revenge, bit Sam Jackson's ankle. He screamed, and his wife came running into the room.

"What's wrong, Sam?" she screamed when she saw a snake hanging from his foot. She tore it off and threw it in it's cage. She locked the cage door, as the snake hissed at her. She ran back to her husband. "Are you alright, dear?" "Oh, I'm fine," Sam replied, "It wasn't anything. That snake isn't poisonous."

A few days later, it started. Sam's wife knew that something was wrong when she saw him trying to catch a rat in their yard. "Are you alright, honey?" "I'm fine, baby," he replied, finally pouncing on it, "I'm just trying to catch dinner." She slowly became worried for him.

The next day, she confronted her worries to him. "Sam," she said, "I think something might be wrong with you." "What do you mean?" He looked at her as he was shedding out of his mouth. "You started acting different ever since Janet bit you. It's almost as if you've been..." she couldn't finish her sentence. "Been what?" Sam became curious. "Been..." his wife started, "As if you've been turning into a snake!" Sam couldn't believe what he heard. As soon as he finished shedding, he went to sleep.

Something woke him up from his sleep a few hours later. A voice, almost a whisper. "Open the cage..." it moaned, "Open the cage..." He became mezmorized by the voice. He slowly started walking to the cage, and opened it. Janet came slithering out, and onto the bed. "Kiss me..." the voice moned. It sounded almost like a hiss!

Sam got on the bed, and gently gripped the snake. His lips came against Janets. He coudln't understand what was going on! He seemed to.. enjoy this sensation that he was feeling. It was almost as if he... loved it. Well, one thing led to another and... yeah.

The next morning he woke up. He felt awful. Beatiality just wasn't his thing. He walked to his wife, who was making breakfast, and hissed her. She noticed that his kiss was different. It felt as if his lips were rougher and tighter. As if he was a... well, it couldn't be.

But, the kiss didn't feel right. He loved Janet, and his wife. He was caught in the middle of a reptile-homosapian love relationship. He was torn down the middle. He's been married to his wife for a while now, and he loved her. But, then again, he found this new love for Janet. What should he do?

Weeks went by, and he was still doing his nightly nasty and his daily wife. It was as if he had become snake by night, and human by day. Whatever he was, Janet's cage started getting grimey. Sam's wife started cleaning out Janet's cage one afternoon. Sam was to hold onto the snake until it's cage was clean.

"kissssss me..." he heard that hiss again, "hissss me like you do at night..." "No!" Sam couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't. He gazed into Janets eyes angerly. But, he couldn't stay angry. She was so beautiful. He leaned in and passionatly kissed Janet, just as his wife came walking in. She screamed, and dropped the glass cage. "GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LIPS OFF MY MOTHERFUCKING HUSBAND!" she screamed.

He dropped the snake to the ground. Janet shot herself towards Sam's wife. Sam's wife dodged the snake, and the snake ran into a wall. Janet was angry. She shot herself again toward's Sam's Wife, and coiled around her leg. Slowly, she slithered. Sam just stood there watching as the snake coiled around his wife's neck. "Help..." his wife's breathless screams begged, "help me, Sam..."

He was again caught. The reptile that he loves is killing the wife that he loves. What will he do? How will he stop this? He knows that one of them would have to die, but he didn't want to be the one to do it. How will this end?

Janet coiled tighter around Sam's wife's neck, then extended her head out in front of her face. Janet hissed real loud in her face, and shot herself towards Sam's wife's face. She flinched, 'cause she knew that death was about to overcome her. Sam Jackson shot Janet in the head at the last second, blowing it up. "Get that motherfuckin' snake off my motherfuckin' wife,' he said.

He had overcome his snake love. It was sad that he had to kill the one reptile that he ever loved, but in exchange he got the love of his Wife back. His wife was his 24 hours a day now, and not just at daytime. He felt accomplished, because he was now with the girl that he will be with until the day he dies.
Friday, June 16th, 2006
5:37 pm
Pick your poison
So who's up for a fanfiction challenge? I give you all a theme, you all write a SoaP fic pertaining in some way, shape or form to said theme. The fic can be any length whatsoever. We'll start out with a really easy, blanket theme and work up to more difficult ones later, methinks. Just write the word "challenge" somewhere in the subject line when you post your challenge piece.

Theme for challenge: love

Deadline: to be announced

Now go sharpen your pencils and set out a mouse or two for those snake muses. Or a passenger, if your snake muse is larger and likes to have bigger meals.

Current Mood: hopeful
Thursday, June 1st, 2006
5:17 pm
Snakes on a Spaceship
(I couldn't tell from the info page whether or not you want to see fic that has nothing to do with the movie, but a friend mentioned this community after I'd written the following parody which takes place in the old British SF fandom, 'Blake's 7' . I thought you might get a giggle from it even without knowing B7.Collapse )
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
2:39 am
Snakes on a Plane: The Montage
Title: Snakes on a Plane: The Montage
Genres: Parody/Action
Rating: M for lots of offensive language.
Pairing: Snakes/Plane ;)
Word count: ~450
Summary: My version of what I hope the movie turns out to be like. You can bet there'll be a lot of snakes on this plane. Mayhem ensues.

Link: Read at FanFiction.net or My Journal.
Thursday, March 30th, 2006
9:19 am
Chapter Two of Loverly silliness...
Disclaimer of the snake translator: This is still really bad. However, please do not inform my client as he is holding my neighbor's cat hostage and threatening feline sacrifice at any moment. After what happened to "Fluffykins" (I was digging hair out of my couch for weeks...geez), I dare not attempt to tell him of my disregard for him and his sequined scales.

The conflict….

I, Ricardo, am disappointed with the world. Long ago, a man used Kool-Aid to take his minions to a higher plain (ah, double entendre…do you not see the greatness of my wit?). Of course, he had to use poison.

It’s like Jaws. Once the masses learned of this menace, they felt they must eradicate all evil from their planet.

However, consider this. Look at the Garden of Eden. God made animals first and then introduced that sub-species, man. Man intruded in my lair first. Why wouldn’t I get him kicked out by giving him the apple? Besides, the woman was a little silly anyway. All she wanted to do was talk about herself and her growing fig-leaf-purse-collection. She had to be stopped; she was going into my territory of useless accessorizing.

Now, because my species gave some Homo sapiens apples, we are considered evil. We are not that nefarious, just a little wicked, just like everyone else. Sure, we are also vain, but if you looked like me, with my gorgeous body that slinks oh so nicely, wouldn’t you be vain too?

But I digress….

The conflict….

Humanity hates snakes because of poison. I blame that on Jim Jones and Jaws.

It is my task, given to me by Liberace himself (squeal of bourgeoisie joy), to right this wrong. I will travel to humanity’s capital, Las Vegas where I might sit upon the mirrored altar of my master, and tack my theses to the mirrored altar itself. Then, humanity will learn that snakes are not dangerous, just poisonous…and a little ill-tempered when we have been stepped on, mocked, or dangled by the tail by an ill-mannered Australian who calls himself a crocodile hunter but is really just a man who likes to roll around in the mud with animals (have you ever heard of bestiality?).

I will mount the airplane….with my commune….my pretty little commune of Liberace worshipers who have, like me, bedecked themselves with little mirrored sequins that are so shiny in the sun (I just love it when they get all warm…it makes me feel all pretty inside)….ach…I have forgotten my heightened sense of taste….

I will mount the plane….

I will travel to Las Angeles….

I will travel to Las Vegas….

And I will conquer the world of snake haters and Liberace mockers who have no sense of style and compassion for a man who changed the world with his beauty, make-up, and mirrors.

Current Mood: silly
Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
9:43 pm
9:13 pm
Note, this is bad...really bad....really really bad...
This is deliberately written to be bad. I am writing this in the process of mocking my “deep” A.P. students.

And so the scene opensCollapse )

Current Mood: scary
8:53 pm
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